Ghosts, specters and succubi around the HRM rest a little easier today, safe in the knowledge that their dusk to dawn diddling will again be safe behind the iron curtain of secrecy and denial. This relief, of course, comes in the form of Peter Duffy’s retirement from the “Old Lady of Argyle Street.”

From today’s Chronicle Herald:

After 28 years of stories and columns, it’s farewell to The Chronicle Herald. If you read my piece last Tuesday, you know I was thinking about it. Well, I’ve finished thinking about it.

The catalyst for my decision was a buyout package offered to those of us who are members of the newsroom union. Note that I said “the catalyst” and not “the reason.”

These are difficult economic times and the Old Lady of Argyle Street, as I still affectionately think of The Herald even though we moved shop last year, is not immune. Management is looking to cull the herd and a common way to do that is offer a financial incentive, based on years of service. So we all got the buyout offers.

Unfortunately, there’s more to this difficult story. Two dozen members of the news staff have been given layoff notices — as you also probably know if you read our business pages.

Now here’s the thing: For each of us who takes the buyout, a position will be saved.

So actually, my leaving is a good thing because it’ll save a colleague’s career. But there’s more to it than that. I’m leaving because my heart is telling me to.

Perhaps ChronicleHerald.ca comments section user Stubbs said it best when he said:

Goodbye and good riddance, you irrelevant old fart.

Extreme Pogo

Chris Lambie wrote this about a 15-year-old kid from Truro, Daniel Mahoney, who appeared on Ellen to demonstrate a pogo-stick. He currently holds the pogo stick high jump record at 2.33 meters.  But all this started when he was 12.

“I thought, ‘Hmm, why not search up extreme pogo?’ ” he said, adding that his Internet search led him to Spencer’s website and a renewed love for the bouncy sticks.

This “extreme pogo” video speaks for itself. This kid is Jackie Chan with a pogo stick.

Crown Attorney Pisses on Grave

From yesterday’sChronicle Herald:

GLACE BAY — Daniel Taylor’s friends knew him as an avid skateboarder who had long fought for the local skate park that was named in his memory when it opened this past July.

But he was also a repeat offender, convicted of two separate assault-related charges since 2005, and that should have been caught by those naming the park, says a local Crown attorney.

Mr. Taylor, who was in his early 20s, died earlier this year.

Prosecutor Gerald MacDonald said it’s inappropriate for taxpayers’ money to support a facility named after someone recently convicted. And he’s shared his concerns with municipal and provincial staff.

“This is an affront to every victim of violent crime in the CBRM,” Mr. MacDonald said in a recent interview.

Dog Fuckers Need Not Apply

According to the Chronicle Herald, people are being turned down for jobs in the Halifax Regional Municipality because of a polygraph test that includes embarrassing questions about animal sex.

Applicants wanting to be police officers or bylaw enforcement officers or even to answer the phone in the dogcatcher’s office must take a lie detector test.

A woman who wanted an information technology job with the municipality says she was humiliated when she was asked whether she had had sex with animals.

“It’s outrageous that . . . questions that they couldn’t ask under human rights legislation, they can ask by virtue of saying it’s necessary to do a security clearance,” said Nancy Elliott, business agent for the Nova Scotia Union of Public and Private Employees.

Besides the part about having sex with animals, this invasive use of a lie detector for hiring mundane jobs seems like another instance where Mr Show sketches become reality

Raccoon Doesn’t Want Kids to Kill Themselves on Dangerous Vehicles

The Chronicle Herald reports that 3rd graders in Glace Bay were given all-terrain vehicle safety videos for grading day. In a province where providing sex education to 12 year olds was considered “abuse” in 2004, I’m glad to see that the education system has grown a pair and is encouraging children to drive ATVs.

Order your own free copy of the video in question, or check out Rascal the Raccoon’s videos online.